"I say "internal" because if you give someone having an affair a specific date -- say, March 1st -- then I think you'll find that they'll take that as your tacit approval of what they're doing until February 28th, at which time they will beg and plead and promise you the moon and the stars to not go thru with your consequence."
Ah yes, double secret probation. An effective tool I have used myself. The thing with boundaries is they really are YOUR boundaries, they are internal. You don't even need to communicate them. But, communicating them is sometimes, not all the time, an effective way to improve relationships. And sometimes double secret probation is far better.
And sometimes, one violation suffices to end a relationship, whether or not the boundary has ever been verbalized. Remember, this is because the boundaries are YOUR boundaries to determine your behavior in a way that protects and supports you and your interests. So, if a waiter set a bowl of soup in front of me and then sprinkled flies in it, forget it, I'm done, lol.
