Wholeagain, yes it is fine to write about anything you want on any thread, but usually it is better to start your own thread so that you can discuss your own situation without taking the convo away from another person's situation. Make sense? If you don't feel comfortable starting your own thread, then go ahead and post on this one. If you do feel comfortable starting your own but need help - let us know.
You asked: "DQ, you are happy with the way things are, but you wish it was more often. Is that right?"
Yes that is right. But I have to make a qualification here: I am madly in love with the man of my dreams and we have a very crazy, experimental, fantasy, tantric, incredible and over-the-top love life...so I really can't make any complaints, not even the one about wanting it more often. I already get it regularly 2 times per week and on some weeks I get it 5 or more times...so don't get my position wrong. I have it GOOD and am really just here on this board to help others if I possibly can. I have written extensively in the past about my ex-marriage ssm issues, and my current marriage sex-made-in-heaven good fortunes.
ssmguy...When people first come here and share their story, they hear the same thing you are getting right now. The "answer" to their dilemma is this: you will likely end up divorced if you let this go on forever, so you should face that fact and force your spouse to face it now...this is your only way for possible improvment. Its the same answer for everyone in your position.
And at first, everyone in your position says "but divorce is not an option, I will not do it, therefore, what are my other options?"
To which people here reply "we are not saying you should ask for divorce, we are saying you WILL likely end UP divorced anyway, and so therefore YOU should face that truth and begin to act on it in order to AVOID divorce".
To which the person in your position says "why is everyone so quick to suggest divorce?"
And once again, we will say "we are not suggesting divorce. We want to help you AVOID divorce. YOU ARE CURRENTLY ON THE PATH TOWARD DIVORCE AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT".
So here you are, you are thinking we are advocating you should ask for a divorce. You feel this way because you are afraid of this eventuality yourself, which we all understand as we have all been afraid of it, too. But the difference between what you think we are saying and what we are really saying is something that will have to dawn on you later...as you keep going through this process.
But it bears repeating until you "get it"....we are NOT advocating divorce, we are NOT advocating divorce, we are NOT advocating divorce....we are trying to get you to see that you are on that path NOW and trying to get you to stop that train NOW before its too late.
We are trying to help. You really have to be a bit more open to what we are really saying, and lay down your defenses.
No one thinks you should be divorced and everyone thinks your sex life can actually improve and become what you hoped it could be years ago. We are trying to help you get there from here.
But one day, before you can begin that journey, you will have to realize for yourself that you are currently on the wrong path ... you are currently on the path toward divorce. Look down at your feet long enough and you'll see it yourself.
