I think you should have let her in on the stark reality of not having you around at a time like this, there are going to be other times in life that she is going to need you, this is one of them. Sounds harsh, but you have to realize that this has been her decision.
Burt
Sorry for your loss, but I would definitely let her come to you, treat her as a friend by asking if there is anything that you could do for her and let her decide how much she needs you.
Be there for your kids, and yes Prozac helps
Burt
This would be a great time to "teach" her what life will be like without me, but I just can't do that to someone I care about. I know it's her choice, but the thought of her getting a call at 1:00am and then being alone until this morning, is just plain sad.
Yes, it is, but it would be the path SHE is choosing.
You lost a very valuable opportunity to learn NOT to rescue her from one of the consequences of running away from her family. And for her to feel that, and own it.
Don't worry -- there will be others. But you're going to have to think long and hard about trying to do the "Mr. Nice Guy"/rescuing thing, because that's a fundamental philosophical point, and it's important.
