Need help setting boundaries tonight!

[TrentC]

Puppy- How do you say to someone who doesn't really care what you think, "I will not live in an open marriage?" I know as far as he's concerned, our marriage is already over in his eyes and he can "do whatever he wants".

Then give him what he wants. Walk away.

I mean, do I just say it and give him the ultimatum to end it or leave? I guess I'm just not sure how to set that when I already know that he won't care what I say, he's not ending it.

If he is flaunting his A in front of you and doesn't care about your feelings on the subject, that's because he has very little respect for you at this point. You cannot build respect in his eyes without taking a strong stand and being willing to weather whatever he throws at you as a result. (That does not mean that you take any kind of verbal or emotional abuse, though.)

You tell him enough is enough; you didn't marry him with the idea that you were going to share him with another woman, and if he continues the A then he can get out and you're going to file for divorce. If he leaves, or decides to let you leave, then that's the answer you get for right now.

Something to keep in mind is that rebound relationships and relationships that begin out of an affair rarely last. The love chemicals, the thrill of sneaking around, and the stolen moments of time rarely translate well once it comes to living together and deciding whose turn it is to do the laundry.