how to 180 when you've been too independent?

[avermont]

thanks for the 2x4, pearl.

Yes, I didn't make it through NC.

I thought it had been a very long time, but you're right, it wasn't.

Bill paying and arguement in mid-October. Silence until I sent a funny email November 9th. Positive reponse. Silence. Until I sent a funny email December 2nd. Positive response.

Am I a waffle? a persuer? a cake to be used?

Well, if I handle the bill paying just matter of factly and go back to la la, I'm living my life from here on in...we will have had a contact (hopefully no fights this time) wherein he can see my toned and thin new bod; positive attitude, and I can be thinking warm and sexy thought that he can either pick up on or not.

Just hard to figure out what track I am on--mostly feel like the train is going to run me over any minute!