Been on anti depressants / anxiety meds for about a week. They're finally starting to work but the anxiety is still there.
At my counselors suggestion I've asked XW to arrange to come and get the furniture that is hers as per the settlement. She hasn't been able to find anyone other than OM who has a truck and didn't want to use him as it could be 'a problem'.
I sent her an e-mail and told her specifically that I want the stuff picked up by Sunday, and that I will leave it on the back patio and she and OM can come and get it as I will leave the house before they come.
Also going to work with D14 and D18 to start looking through their things and decide what they need and don't need so we can pack up and be ready to move when the house forecloses. I'll sell off the furniture I know I won't be able to fit in a 2 bedroom house / apt.
Better to be proactive than caught off guard, and a victim.
Last night D18 and I spent some time going for a drive together and talking. She shared with me that when she went to her grandmothers on Friday for thanksgiving dinner, when she walked in the house and saw OM there, she had a breakdown.
She said she was used to seeing him at her moms condo, but being at a 'family' event seemed so wrong to her, that he shouldn't be there.
She said she just lost it and cried and ended up going into the bedroom with her boyfriend and sobbing.
She said her mom came in to talk to her, telling D18 that she is an adult and needed to act like one. D18 said 'mom was really angry at me'. D18 said she told her mom "I may be an adult, but I'm also your DAUGHTER". D18 said that after this, XW was visibly shaken.
Anyway, D18 said dinner went well and there were no more incidents. She also said that since they've been back, her relationship with her mom is different. Her mom seems to be affected by what happened.
I think this is the first time XW has actually seen the pain she has caused. Up till now she has seen anger.
D18 and I are getting closer. She told me that she likes living with me because I'm a parent, and I act like one.
Somehow I'm going to make my life work, and my daughters lives also. I'm getting over everything and not feeling sorry for myself any more.
