here we go again

[Jstar]

i haven't changed the locks yet but getting ready to over the weekend. i put a lock on my back gate and gonna try to get someone to get his tools and move them to another location.

i'm of the feeling, so what you've been working haven't done anything for me or kidos but now you want to see her, i don' think so. eventually i will speak to him maybe in days or weeks, after xmas, i don't know. but he can if i let him visit with d2 under very specific terms and if he doesn't like it touch crap take me to court, which i doubt he will. he walked away not me, he abdonded us. sorry if i won't just let my daughter go with him and then he's gone for days or weeks or months, who knows with his track record.

i'm like well if he wants to see her then cough up some damn money, do something for his family he left behind, he has the counselors phone number, it's not me that's going to put it back together at this time. exactly what it said in michelle's book. if you've been the one who has made the peace or kept the relaitonship going - solving problems STOP. i think he has some intelligence, don't you think he would figure out what to do, steps to take? really the msg was well is she d2 okay, just let me know that, well i kind of want to see over the weekend. i'm not letter her out of my sight and he is not permitted to take her from daycare and since i have my one family member there in her room, it ain't gonna happen if tries to follow me.

[bluerain]

You know one of the things that I seriously considered doing was renting a storage unit in H's name, filling it, and having the bill sent to him. It would have cost me $50 or so, but it would have gotten the situation taken care of. Maybe that could be part of your boundary. "You have until dec 9 to get your things, or I will put them into storage for you, and have them bill you."

I agree that if he really wants to come back and be involved with the family as a whole, or just the kids, he will be able to figure out how to make it happen, or at least ask you what you need him to do!

[Jstar]

i don't think it's alot to expect that a grown man of birth age of 29 figure something out instead of cowardly messages testing the water. the longer my silence the more he will realize i mean business.

if he shows up at my home i will not let him in and he forces himself or uses the before i change the locks i will call 911. or would it be good to just say my speel about being angry since he chose not to support or respect my wishes and this family and until he guinely makes an effort to support and respect me and this family i have nothing else to say.

[bluerain]

I think that making a scene would be bad for you and D2. Im not talking about your image or anything, but you staying calm is going to be good for you both right now.

[Jstar]

if he does show up unnounced i have to be prepared to stop him from entering my home. yes remaining calm will be necessary but i don't want to get into any dialog with him if he does show up. i'm not ready to speak to him and as much as i think i may be ready to go over my boundaries, i need more time to prep. get more secure confident in what i would tell him.

today is another day and we will see how it goes.

[Jstar]

now he sends me a text message. this is what it says:

okay one more day how is my lil one i miss her so put yourself aside and think about z.

freaking crap, he cares for her now, where's the money, support caring about her when his mom mistreated her, when she gets drug out of the house at 630 am because his selfish ass could not put himself aside to watch her in my house so she could sleep then take her to where sh'e sgoing to be cared for. nah, such bullshit!

so i should still be ignoring his msgs, all he's doing is giving me lip service, no actions.!!!

[Jstar]

I think i'm doing the right thing. Am i about not responding?

[TrentC]

I think i'm doing the right thing. Am i about not responding?

Yes; he is trying to provoke a reaction out of you. No reason to give him what he wants.

[Jstar]

TrentC, i would like to thank you for your continued support and advice. I hear alot of good things from many other posters that you are experienced, so thank you again.

i do not plan on responding even if everyday he texts about seeing daughter. my thoughts in previous msg still stand

if he starts following me or shows up at my home i may just have to call the police. he is not on my mortgage, moved out nov1 and has no legal right as i can see to enter my home.

freaking crap, he cares for her now, where's the money, support caring about her when his mom mistreated her, when she gets drug out of the house at 630 am because his selfish ass could not put himself aside to watch her in my house so she could sleep then take her to where sh'e sgoing to be cared for. nah, such bullshit!

[Jstar]

he needs to open his freaking eyes and actually see what it is like to experience divorce and not seeing his kid whenever he wants, that someone will dictate when he can see his child like a judge will do in teh event we divorce, needs to understand and experience having to tell other people no and sacrifice himself money wise, loose his truck if needed to provide support for his kids.

he used to look good at my work, coaching kids afterschool sports program, helping out, but i could not hide it anymore, i let my administrator and office staff know, not all the staff know but enough do, he can experience anxiety if he came on my campus of how i feel each time i had to get my daughter from his mother and every outing with them or get together.