Its the worst. But the only way to go about it is make yourself look better and make her have those same thoughts you had about her this morning...only about you.
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
Didn't help things this morning that W looked especially beautiful this am.
So tell her what you think and walk out the door. (catnip)
"You are absolutely stunning looking this morning." With a big smile on your face. Grab the keys and go.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Yeah I know how you feel about seeing your beautiful wife and unfortunately in my case knowing she doesn't see me in that same light. She calls it a different attraction but can't see herself being physical with me and thus can't sleep in the same bed.
However, I like Coach's advice of making a point and leaving.
M 33 | W 34 | Kids: S4, S3 M: 5/28/05 Bomb: 8/22/09 EA: 8/1/09 | PA 12/26/09 W L: 10/21/09 M L: 11/16/09 | 12/09 to file SA W & Boys Move Out: 3/14/10
Didn't help things this morning that W looked especially beautiful this am.
So tell her what you think and walk out the door. (catnip)
"You are absolutely stunning looking this morning." With a big smile on your face. Grab the keys and go.
HA!!! I just now read this Coach, and when I left the house before lunch I did EXACTLY what you suggested. In fact, when I thought about what I should do, I heard you telling me to be catnip and tell her, but do it as I am walking out for work.
Too funny.
Oh, and I got the usual "Thanks" as if a co-worker had given her a small gift. But, I feel better since I said it. What SHE chooses to do with it is her bidness.
For a while now, I have tried to make a habit of finding something specific to compliment my w on at least once a day - not "You look great today!" but "Hey, are those new jeans? They look great on you" or "I like the way you did your hair today, those curls on your neck are sexy".
I keep getting no response, like you say, or I get a "Thanks" with a small smile.
...But when we went through Retrouvaille, although the overall weekend was a disaster for us as a couple, at one point, when she was asked to say what she appreciated about me, she responded "well, I do like the way you compliment me recently"
So keep it up. She is noticing even if she isn't responding.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
Thanks Thinker and soleil. I know she's noticing even though she doesn't let on she is. And, as long as I'm doing it for me, with no expectation, then there's nothing but upside.
And, as long as I'm doing it for me, with no expectation,
That's what drives cats crazy. Tease em and then ignore em - OMG it's torture to them. They have to pounce after a while, it's what they do.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
He!!, any pounce would be nice. 