WAW in affair. Help!

[Norm914]

Starting a new thread because my sitch has changed.

I’ve had a feeling in my gut that something was going on. Not too long before W separated (moved out) she connected with an old high school friend via FaceBook – a class reunion thing. She said they were great friends in high school but never dated. And, she also said, “We wondered later why we never dated.”

They were instantly buddies. Calling and texting. Started working out together, which didn’t alarm me. I have a female workout partner. We own the gym and everything seemed out in the open.

I won’t go into all the red flags. I’ll cut to the chase.

W has always been absent minded about her cell. Always leaving it some place or can’t find it. Lately it never leaves her, even when she works out.

Last month I looked at the cell bill online. Didn’t think I saw anything alarming. Recently I went back to look at the most recent statement but I couldn’t log in. She had changed the password. Because she pays the business bills, and the cell bill is paid by the business, I think she thought I would never notice.

Yesterday morning I texted her saying I wanted to make sure my mom and sisters were on our friends and family plan but couldn’t log in. I asked if she had experienced trouble logging in.

“No. Your mom and sisters are on the plan.”

“Okay. Still, strange that I can’t log in. I’ll contact the cell company.”

Tried contacting the cell company but they wouldn’t deal with me without our “billing account password”, which I don’t have. So, I texted W asking for it. No response.

Later in the day I see her at the gym and ask if she got my text. “No.” Then, “Wha…why do you need it?” I said, “Well, it is a joint account and a business expense (business expenses are to remain transparent), and if God forbid you get hit by a bus I need access to that sort of thing.” “Uh, it…it must have been one the passwords I changed. I’ll get it to you later.” She’s lying. Both of us are the world’s worst about not changing passwords on things like that. We’ve the same two or three for everything for years. Now, I already know what I am going to find.

She texted me about something that evening and in my response I asked again for the password. An hour later I get an email with some cock and bull story about being on the phone with tech support and finally getting the “password problem” figured out, but I got the password.

No wonder she didn’t want to give it to me. I know OM’s cell number because he listed on our friends and family plan. Isn’t that dandy. 95% of the calls only last one or two minutes, but often multiple calls throughout a given day. Lots of Monday, 11:00 p.m. – Tuesday, 7:30 a.m. “Good night…Good morning.” It’s so freaking obvious.

She’s probably crapping all over herself right now hoping I won’t look closely at the bill.

What do I do now?