how to 180 when you've been too independent?

[Ready2Change]

And also please realize that my 180 is to show less independence, more willingness to be open and share and commit to the R. Not that I will do all that in a bill-paying session! But to just cut him off with "I took care of it" is more of the same behavior from the R. So I am trying to balance being a good DB'er with "hey, look how open I am now" with NOT letting him off the hook for leaving and being in an affair.

Why not be more "open" and affectionate paying the bills?

One piece of advise, if you want a good 180, instead of sitting across the table, sit next to him. You are NOT playing chess, you are working together. Body language is very important. Use it.