I think you should have let her in on the stark reality of not having you around at a time like this, there are going to be other times in life that she is going to need you, this is one of them. Sounds harsh, but you have to realize that this has been her decision.
Burt
Sorry for your loss, but I would definitely let her come to you, treat her as a friend by asking if there is anything that you could do for her and let her decide how much she needs you.
