If done properly, a boundary is ALL ABOUT a choice, O.T.
"This is how I feel. This is my boundary of personal integrity. I will understand if you don't want to stay within it, but please understand that if you don't, I cannot in good conscience remain married to you."
And then the cheating spouse gets to make their choice, knowing clearly what their spouse's position is.
There is nothing "controlling" or "moralizing" about that.
I'm all for free choices, but they need to be made WITHIN clearly-laid boundaries. BOTH partners have choices; it is one's job to let the other know where they stand, and then let the other choose, and let the consequences fall where they may, no?
