It's been a long time since I have posted. I don't have much time to myself these days as I am still spending a large amount of my time taking my father to his therapies (he suffered a stroke in July). Anyway, I thought I would post an update on my sitch for some possible encouragement to those out there wondering if any of them really do come back…
My H is planning on moving back in with me as of the end of the month. He told me and our C that he is 80% sure that he wants to come back and he gave his 30 day notice for his apartment yesterday.
Next February will be the 3 year mark since he left. It has been a long road with lots of twists and turns including him filing for divorce...and I am sure there are still more twists and turns to come. My H's pending return is not due to the long overdue epiphany I was so sure he was going to have...it is because I drew the line. I told him he had until the end of the year or I was done. I understand that giving ultimatums is usually not the way to go with someone having a MLC, however, I was (and still am) at the point of not really caring which way this relationship goes. I just know that I have been in limbo far too long and I have to move forward either with or without my H. I am sure it helps that my sitch is probably less complex than many on this board…there has been no known OW and my H never went too long without trying to make some connection with me. As I have become more emotionally disconnected from my H, it has become clearer to me that he does not want to lose me.
If this would have happened 2 years ago, maybe even a year ago, I would have been ecstatic…now, I am unsure. I have become comfortable living on my own (with my kids). I don’t need my H or any other man in my life to make me happy. Why do I feel that I need more than this? I enjoy my H’s company most of the time but I am perfectly okay when he leaves. When he moves back, it will not be like it was when we first were married with all the anticipation and newness of everything. When he moves back, we will have to readjust to being a couple again and tolerate each other’s little quirks. Plus, I am quite sure he is still not entirely finished with his MLC. He is still quite self-absorbed much of the time.
