Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

You know, as I posting a reply to a WAW who now wants to reconcille with her XH and is not doing so well communicating with him and pushing him away something clicked in my head.

I have said and questioned time and time again certain things that my XW has done that is out of character with a a-typical WAS scinerio. There were never any solid expinations offered either.

I want to stress, as puzzling a creature she may, and crafty when she needs to be, I am NOT stupid. I am telling you now, she is presenting herself in a whole different posture now. She is making very certain not to say things in certain ways, or do more than brush the surface of certain subjects. And yes, she IS being open with any inquiry of anything with OM versus shading it.

Why did I fall for all B/S previously? I was a hurt and devistated LBS, plain and simple. I would take anything she said as the gospel truth only because I let my heart listen to it and not my head. And most the time, I knew it was crap just to bait me along, I knew it, but just had hope in all the wrong places.

Now, I listen with my head to protect my heart. Big difference there. I don't need to hope anymore. i think I've said this everyday here now, and it has become my moto over my morning cup of coffee: I can chose to be with whomever I want now. Thus it is XW's job to show me why I should chose someone who has caused so much pain.

And thus far, she is treading very carefuly not to do anything to say or do anything that would push me away, hell, it's almost as if she is DB'ing me now, which truthruly, I think she should be. I can walk whenever I want.

I'm kind of dissapointed in the morale of some responses, not very in the spirit of saving marriages. I know this woman. I only spent more than a decade with her day in and day out. And I knew things were headed down the crapper for a while and only fogged myself with the notion that tomorrow is another day until tomorrow didn't come and she left me, a changed into different woman. And right now, there are no indicators of that woman she became, whereas before, there was, but I just wanted my W back at any cost.

I do moreover, forgive her and understand, and over all, accept.

That said, we spent some time on the phone last night after some casual joking texts after she tried calling while I was making dinner. She asked what I was making, so I told her, kilbasa, kraut, perogies in a garlic & onion sauce. Heh, hit the bohemian in her hard, even sent her a picture of the completed plate. Anyway when we spoke later on, it was all good, and she is already aware that we need to have a SERIOUS sit down chat and go over things.

day by day.