Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

Truefully I believe that the detachment starts when the seperation begins and one has to process the thoughts.

Before hand they get caught up in the excitment of the unspeakable.

I'd assume, from reading posts here and using common sense, that even when they still live with us (in my face W lived here for 5 weeks prior to leaving and moving into her new home) they still cannot really start to detach completely as you are still in the same home, using the same toilet and breathing the same air as the LBS.

They do not get the chance to process the loss of the love. They replace it.

In my W's case that is 100% accurate.

Think back to when you started to date your wife. Its nothing. We know this.... But they are clouded. Its an intense love, quick, dirty and dangerous. Best not to compete. But it is still love. I know it hurts. I hurt everyday. But it is not a true love. One that grows openly. One that is helped along by friends and family. One that is honest and grows from friendship freely offered without fear of offending anyone. Its open its honest.

That is the best description I have heard from this. The other I think was elsewhere on this forum - true love is built on shared memories and experiences - affairs are built on lies and deceit.

Us LBS. Well were Fuc)(Dd and we decide that we need to get them back. So we decide to embrace our flaws and learn and teach ourselves to be better lovers, partners, friends, listeners, and parents. We heal and move on.

In a way, long term, we get the better end of the deal. While we heal, change, grow and embrace our flaws and faults, we become better people, lovers and husbands / wives.

I have found this week rather hard. Funny how 2 emails and 1 phone call can do one in. But I am glad that after all this time I still love my wife. And I have patience. Its been 6 months. And she has 4 months left...

You're strong cutter. You're still here through all this sh&t. In your case I suppose you have to deal with the calls and the emails. Me, I just ignore them.

and sorry P17 for stealing your thread. But hell thats what friends do.

No need to apologise. You answered the question that I and Day To Day wanted to know!

P.S. thats a cute picture of you and your daughter.

Thanks. She's a cute little girl.

@newmama

WSs still love us. Their affair isn't about love after all. It is for escape or ego stroking or it's MLC...

No, it's nto about love. Sometimes it develops that way though The odds however are firmly against the WAS and the OP.