Have you noticed that your theories on how and why she trapped you and tricked you into marrying her are elaborate and detailed? You've got her motivations mapped out and everything. You sound like me.
If I had to guess, I'd say the reason your theories on that are so well-developed is that you've been stewing over those thoughts for a long time without really talking to your wife about it. Am I pretty close? You may be shocked if you talk to your wife with an open mind and really push her to talk with you in the same spirit.
I was.
You're a LONG way from hopelessness.
I don't think it would hurt to read the Sex-Starved Marriage book, if you haven't. If you recognize your own marriage in there (and you probably will see at least parts that you recognize) then you might want to recommend that your wife read it with you. Parts of the book are aimed at the low-desire spouse and they help because they make it clear to the LD partner that she's not hopeless (nor is she the only one to blame, or the only one who will change) and there are things she can do that will make her feel better.
