You're hurt and overwhelmed with emotion. You're just trying to hold it in to hold it together. That's what I would guess. GAL is an ideal, and hold onto it as something for down the line when you are ready. If you are angry then be angry. She left you. You have every right to all your feelings. And feelings shift. You feel this way now, and who knows what is down the line. The point is to take care of yourself and do what you need to do - staying home and playing guitar hero with your son is a perfect example. You owe her nothing. Take care.
