Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[SoldierDad]

I am really starting to hate my W. What in the hell is wrong with her? What in the world happened to my W? How/why does a parent LIE to their own child? I just don't get it. She is 17 again. My boys are a hinderance to her and what she wants to do. They are merely a nuisance, who are getting the way of HER happiness. I hate her tonight. I know hate is a very strong word, but I feel hate right now. I feel contempt towards her. I feel sorry for her. I feel for my boys. I can handle this, I know I can. Just gotta take a step back, and realize what/who I am dealing with. I just feel for my boys because they HAVE to take what she is doing.

[TrentC]

Thanks Trent, I haven't sent anything, I just typed it up. I was waiting to get some feedback from the board, which I already knew the answer, but needed to see a level headed persons perspective.

Happy to help; I've had times where I have to call a friend to talk me off of the proverbial ledge as well.

[SoldierDad]

I am starting to want a divorce from her. I am seeing a side of her that I do not like, and I don't approve of. I think I have reached my limit. I think I am done. I think that I am going to quit. If D is what she wants, D she will get. I really hate her tonight...

[bluerain]

If you do decide that you are going to D her, be prepared for that to be the time that she really responds positively. Dont get sucked in! It seems like when we finally get to the point where we have had enough, we can be the most effective DB'ers.

Keep up on here, even if you decide to go through with it, lots of us have been through, or are going through it, so we can support/commiserate.

I think that you have to decide what you are and are not willing to deal with, then stick to that.

[TulsaTime]

SD,

You're pissed with good reason. Give yourself a few days to de-stress. I find my emotions ping-pong alot.

A good rule of thumb, don't do anything out of anger. Be of a sober, calm, peaceful spirit before you decide something as big as this.

What's your hurry? You're reacting. Take the lead here.

[SoldierDad]

All, you are right. Calm, Cool, Collected. No overreacting. I can feel the rope slipping out of my hands. My commander told me today, that she did in fact call the commander back in the states, and complain to them that I cut her off from the $$. But, the great thing was, that commander asked her if I had paid the mortgage-W replied with yes, she said, then there is nothing I can do. I would of loved to see her face, or heard her voice after that! I kinda feel bad for my W, in that she is doing desperate things-things all of you said she would do. But, and I wrote this before, I think I am done trying. Honestly, I will probably be much better off without her, and I know I will be financially-even if I do have to pay her support!!! I have so many emotions coursing through me today, and today is not a good day for that to be happening.I think I just need to move on, and "embrace the suck". Now, where do I begin?

[SoldierDad]

Just read a review of the concert last night. Evidently Paul Stanley thanked all the Military people in attendance that the only reason they could do what they do, is because of the military - wonder if that made her think? Also it said that he told the crowd to look around and look at all the kids, new to the KISS Army-wonder if any of it even registered with her... Probably not.

[SoldierDad]

Ok, I know I am not supposed to be sarcastic towards w, but I just had to do this. Veterans of the board, please have mercy on me. W wrote this to me reference to her telling her B's that I said she wasn't paying the bills. This message was attached to a bill she DID pay, and was just showing/telling her brothers that she DID IN FACT, pay the bills:
"oh no im such a horrible person not paying the bills"

I replied yesterday:
W, The bills have nothing to do with you being a horrible person. Please send me the username and password for this account, electric, and any others that have usernames and passwords so that I can pay them. This is my third request for this information.

Ok, let the flaming begin. I can take all of your 2x4's!!!

[TrentC]

Ok, let the flaming begin. I can take all of your 2x4's!!!

I don't know enough about your situation to know what have had to deal with up until now. But I find it hard to want to work with someone who intentionally goes and does something they know will not help the situation.

This...

Ok, I know I am not supposed to be sarcastic towards w, but I just had to do this

... is a cop-out. You did not "just have" to do this, you chose to.

You have a choice in all of this. You can swallow your pride and do what needs to be done to save your marriage, or you can react emotionally, indulge your baser instincts and let your marriage end.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

What Trent said. ^

Speaking just for me (and not necessarily referring just to you, SD), I've been getting real tired lately of spending my valuable time giving advice to people who just choose to ignore it.

Puppy