WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Well we finally talked about the custody thing. She started texting about it this evening and I refused to participate and just said we need to talk. Finally she called.

We went back and forth, very adversarial like, for a bit. She was about to hang up mad when I just stopped her and said that we need to figure out how to compromise because if we don't we'll spend $6K in legal fees every time we need to make a change, and that's money we don't have.

So I walked her through how "negotiations" and discussions by understanding what is important to each other's position and then analyzing the proposals to see how they meet each other's "important" points. We got a little further, although we could reach agreement.

Then we wound up talking about our relationship.

I told her that we have both done things that hurt our relationship and I'm not saying that we had hurt them equally as bad, but I told her that I am very angry at what she has done. She then started getting all emotional and appologized for it and blah blah blah trying to explain how she justified it in her mind.

I told her that I am angry but felt sorry for her about how she must have bad she must have felt to do something so horrific.

She then went into her crying mode of not saying anything so it was either silence or sobbing.

So we talked..... finally... for what it's worth....