For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[courts0818]

Day 7 (Journaling)

Well, I've made it one week! I know that doesn't sound all that impressive, but it's a great start for me. IMO, you have to take this roller coaster ride one day at time otherwise it gets too overwhelming.

I haven't been perfect throughout this week, but I have been pretty darn good! Overall, I've had a positive attitude, I've been getting out of the house, I've been enthusiastic about Christmas, I've been praying and giving thanks, I have not initiated contact with H and I've delayed responding to the few texts he's sent me.

What I could have done better is to be more upbeat around him -
like I posted above, that's an area where I'm still kinda stuck...(going to paste what I wrote above)
Regarding my interactions/communcation with H: Do I just act like everything is A-okay? Like it's fine when he leaves for a handful of days and doesn't contact me at all? Like life is great - even though we are separated? It's akward bc sometimes we go 1-4 days with no contact at all.

Do I greet him when he comes home? Say goodbye when he leaves? Let him know when dinner is ready? Do I initiate any type of conversation? Do I tell him the things DD did that day? Do I try to engage the 3 of us in playing with DD - like us all playing catch with a ball or playing a board game?

The truth is: I'm having a hard time finding a balance....not being standoffish/unfriendly and yet not being overly pleasant to the point where it comes across as pursuing, fake or manipulative. I really struggle with this.

Anyway, 3 things I'm thankful for today:
1. The groceries I bought (and the yummy meals I will turn them into)
2. That I already have 2 things planned for the weekend (going to watch my former cheerleaders and lunch with my former boss)
3. Class - I'm always thankful for educational opportunites and a chance to enhance my job skills

Before I sign off, I did notice H was on his phone a lot tonight - texting or on the internet - not sure which one. No comments from me, but I was wondering. Once I get my DBing communication/interaction skills polished up, it's time to really tackle boundaries.