Is my wife a WAW or is this a MLC? thx2brs

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Kid,

It's like you're two different people at times.

Sometimes you're this guy:

1.MLC thinks ur a stalker, so don't go anywhere near her, don't call her, email her, you wait until she does you. Don't talk about her to anyone. They don't see it as you being nice.
2.You answer questions that she asks, kids, bills only
3.Don't tell her what she's doing is wrong and don't say I love you.
4.Respond with yes,no,can i get back with you.
5.They are very confused so you have to keep it simple.
6.Breathe means, patience, sit on your hands and don't do anything until someone from here points you in the right direction.
7.Forget being able to have a normal conversation they're not going to have that with us.
8.Protect your money.
9.Vent here, not at her. You have to be 90%Toyko and 10% Godzilla.

who prints up this list and puts it in his pocket.

And other times your this other guy who puts his hand in the pocket and wonders who put that list in there.

PS -

Me:you taught a lot of good things dear
Me:hurt for you like none other can't describe it,nite dear
Her:Night
Me:ur angry with me and i can't take it away,want to know how things made or make u feel,not what i did or didn't do.Night
Me:You are a strong,beautiful,loving,good person,know those things,want to know ur mind and feelings

sup stalker? ; )

[are you kidding]

wife told me she wanted someone to know her intimately by knowing her mind and feelings.

Jack, i used to think what was best vs letting her tell me. it was an invitation to open up, which she did a little bit.

she called d last nite and said don't worry about your dad, "if there's one thing about him, he'll do the right thing and he's a bad a$$."

[are you kidding]

She said only a couple things fit for MLC, wanted to know why I thought it was MLC and just the fact she's happy for the first time, she said getting to know her, when i should've known her isn't going to make her happy.I validated most,defended a little,she told me i should be angry with her.

One thing that stood out in the conversation."Actions speak louder than words." You always told me you loved me,but then you'd over do for me,you would say wonderful things to me,but then of course we had to things when they were convenient for me and the conversation always came back to me,partially true, validated that, she'd say something, i'd listen then tell her oh it's ok honey, she didn't like that about me.

D wanted to hug her mom tonite, the OM/EA neighbor asked D what I was doing at the house, D said dad's out in the car, of course he didn't come out. D said he looked p.o.'d good he's basically been working on my wife for 3 yrs and I'm tired of his comments. Too funny, but I asked for that, when I found out D got hit and that OM took her aside, i told wife, tell the OM, he takes my daughter aside by herself again or if your friend touches one of my Kids again, you're all going to deal with me legally.

No he's not worth beating up or anything, it's all comical in a sick way.

So anyway, wife said her stuff asked for more money, laid another boundary.

Not going to pay you a cent more than the court order, it's child support, not wife support. Said only thing I'm going to pay for her is a copay if she goes to the psychiatrist.

She said you don't want your stuff 'cause you think you'll be back in 2 yrs. Said nah, was thinking this stuff takes 2 to 5 yrs but if you'd be willing to open up you might get thru it in 2 yrs. I'm not assuming anything wife, the prop, it's just stuff, rather rebuild, than be reminded of what was and what could've been, besides honey only 2 of the things in the house are mine. She said what about gifts I got you, told her don't want them, hurts too much to have them and really don't want anything to remind me of what i spoiled all of you with for nothing.

oh she called me a rapist too and that she didn't find me sexually attractive at all, i apologized for finding her hot, speaking of hot, she thought i fed her chocolate so she'd be fat and unattractive, she said i liked her fat and didn't want her skinny, so she'd eat the chocolate and show me up by losing weight anyway.

I only listened, because she didn't holler or say any swear words and there was some stuff i learned about what she was looking for, now she had most of it, but i really missed some frustration she had in our marriage.

women aren't like guys, we don't see anything until there is tears.

I said hey listen call me whenever vent don't yell, she said going xmas shopping said ok good have fun.

oh she said i should kiss her butt, if she hadn't had done this i wouldn't have the relationship with the kids i have now.

what an angel.

she did say, you have begged me, i'll see your psychiatrist or this other lady just too make you happy as usual.

i said no, you can tell me your real feelings and what you want anytime or you can see a psychiatrist to help you with your feelings. this has nothing to do with me and if you don't want to go, don't go. your divorce is going to be the easiest divorce you've ever had, because i'm still going to keep my word.

[are you kidding]

i didn't say anything in that text jack that i hadn't said before to her, i always over complimented her. found out it drove her nuts. she told me tonite, if i wanted to know her, i'd have to hang out with her and her friends, because she felt she couldn't be silly in front of me.

my butt, she could be silly, man she's confusing as heck.

[Lostforwords]

Amen Ayk...woman are confusing. Some of it is switching history in that she probably would complain that you didn't pay enough attention to her if you weren't complimenting her as much.

Over all, as long as we are getting the whole story, doesn't sound like a bad conversation. She opened up a little bit....give her a few days now to relax and realize that you just listened and validated. So give her space to think.

[are you kidding]

Even in the bs and yes i had a sex drive:)
The bs about trying to make her fat and the "rape" part hope she gets over. In May she bought a toy she wanted to try.

She thought I was controlling.
That I didn't share my feelings with her.
That I wasn't there for the kids enough.
That she couldn't be her true care free happy self. D said we both seem happier apart.
That I smothered her with flowers and candy when she would've rather had the money.
That I didn't like her friends.
That I can't sit still and left her alone a lot when we were in large groups. TRUE
That everything had to be done at my convenience or I over did, she thought it was wierd that I'd get up at 2 am and beat her to the laundry. TRUE, I over compensated and stressed about making her happy, always felt like I was repenting and I always just wanted her to myself.
That I'm intense and she said I could say something wonderful to her, but my actions showed otherwise.
That if she did something I didn't approve of, she'd hear about it. Kinda true.
That we didn't do enough together.
That TV ruined our family.

When we talk am I doing the right thing when I ask don't tell me what I did, tell me how you felt or feel?

She did say she won't hesitate to call me at 3 am in the morning now.

She said she will go to the shrink because D and I begged although, counselors told her there is nothing wrong with her.

Check back with you later.

She's still complaining about money.

Told kids she's going to spend $1000 each on them, don't know how she's going to do that.

She's enjoying telling me everything bad I did and how worthless I was and how great and how much she tried but couldn't communicate with me.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

She thought I was controlling.
That I didn't share my feelings with her.
That I wasn't there for the kids enough.
That she couldn't be her true care free happy self. D said we both seem happier apart.
That I smothered her with flowers and candy when she would've rather had the money.
That I didn't like her friends.
That I can't sit still and left her alone a lot when we were in large groups. TRUE
That everything had to be done at my convenience or I over did, she thought it was wierd that I'd get up at 2 am and beat her to the laundry. TRUE, I over compensated and stressed about making her happy, always felt like I was repenting and I always just wanted her to myself.
That I'm intense and she said I could say something wonderful to her, but my actions showed otherwise.
That if she did something I didn't approve of, she'd hear about it. Kinda true.
That we didn't do enough together.
That TV ruined our family.

Which of those are true?

i wouldn't have the relationship with the kids i have now.

That part is likely true. Just ignore her setting herself up as a hero in that version of the story.

Kid,

there is a good chance that you'll take this wrong, and you shouldn't. Stop wtih the Dear's and Honey crap. I'm willing to bet she doesn't want to hear it. I know I didn't, I found it demeaning and condesending. Food for thought, your choice if you want to eat it.

[are you kidding]

She asked the day she emailed me she filed and when all this started when was i going to accept blame,she also got back with me on mlc and said only thing that fit for her was i was the reason her life was so bad. The parts about monstration and blame she put on me.

See in her mind, she thought i was blaming her and d for all the problems back in june.

I'm going to make it short.

I've had the kids, D didn't want to go home, etc. but there was a reason to email her.

anyway i forgot what i put, but i emailed i take the blame for parts of our marriage i participated in, control,impulsiveness,not sharing feelings,smothering,libido,selfcenteredness,etc.

an earlier email she asked for more money,i simply said not paying another dime more than court order and gave her a couple of facts of what i have done for her already.

also gave her back some gifts she made me."shocked you don't want those to remember a happier time." asked well do you remember a happier time, she said no, said exactly wife, why would i want to look at them.

she texted email "p.o'd me off"

i had to laugh, duh, aren't you already p.o'd off.

anyway she emailed back and said she was going to see the shrink.

not i'm not holding out hope.

she sure is watching me like a hawk.

isn't it amazing they can be crazy and act crazy, but when it comes to a quick comeback or blast us they're on it quick and almost convincing. for example she mispelled her email signature, i copied it and said is this right.

she emailed back, fixed. of course no thank you.

caught her in another lie today, too. says she misses kids, but loves it when gone, she can bake cakes and leave them surprises while they're gone.

asked d hey i wonder what treat your mom will have tonite, "a frozen dinner":)

mlc'ers are amazing, i just don't get it.

how does no one else see they're off?

[are you kidding]

oh yeah no more dears or honeys. got it.

oh i also put in email, if pick up kids don't come in, duplex is trashed, can see now why you would be exhausted at the end of the night.

[are you kidding]

Does thrive mean going twilight or dark from here on out and ignore everything that isn't kid related?

What is the definition of thrive?

Boundaries that set, not responding and money so far.

So would the next just be living, like she is?

No she hasn't called the shrink.