so how long has the phone glued to the hip been? If everything else seems normal, then I generally don't see anything going on. unless it's porn. what are your thoughts on that? I'm totally against it, so James had stuff on his phone and did hide it from me.
If it was a woman, I think you would see other signs, unless it was an out of town thing, and then he would probably be going out of town, not answering phone calls, or taking a while to return them.
Also, I know it was a man who mentioned there is no reason why your husband isn't on top of you physically, but I was an attractive woman, and definitely available, but my H hardly touched me. granted we did ML maybe once a month or so, but that's not really good. Today, it is totally different, and I believe it is partly because I initiate sometimes. I never did before. Plus the fact that I have a much better self esteem now than I did back then.
Mindful, if you are always hiding sadness, then even though you are hiding it, I think that he would sense it, and part of him doesn't want to go there because it's like a choice that he's saying I want the marriage back, and right now, he still doesn't know what he wants.
plus the fact that it's been so long since you guys HAVE ML, that I think that it would be hard for anyone to initiate. you guys have been in this routine now and right now he's kind of in a "safe" spot, and in a way, so are you. no one is taking a risk.
Seeing that everyone sees him as a man with this outward appearance with the lonely man hiding on the inside, I think a good thing to do is help him, lead him to finding joy within himself. Help him to get passionate about things he loves. be creative.
but, these are ideas for when you are better. right now you need to focus on yourself. which by the way, will in turn help lead him to discover happiness, because you are SHOWING him how to do it.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
ST, you are right, after two years it is hard to initiate. The first time my XW (that's still wierd!) "turned off", it was for about three years. Somehow, during that time, I'd still send up a trial balloon now and then, and finally, one day, it was caught. The second time, after the first year or so, it became clear that the trial balloons were not welcome in the least. At that point even hugs were out. But you know, even then, if she had shown any interest (at least until fairly recently), I would have been there. Maybe it's just me.
(((((((mindfull))))))) Get yourself well. That's job one, two, and three. There's time for the rest after that.
Jeff, it appears you know exactly how this feels. I'm sorry. I hope reading along and sharing isn't too hard.
I'm about 20% better on the pneumonia/reactive airway crap today. The breathing treatments have worked wonders.
I even showered and changed out of jammies today!! OK, it was sweats and a hoodie, but that's an upgrade! And, it wasn't until about 2:30pm!
Tomorrow, as long as I'm feeling a bit better, HAIR APPOINTMENT! I've rescheduled three times, and my highlights are now dull-lights, my bangs are now seductively covering one eye (LOL), and we won't even talk about the grays!!!
Friday am... everyone ready... Nail fill and pedicure!!!
At least I've got a lot of work done, laying in bed w/my phone and laptop.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Jeff, I think you'll get a giggle out of this, and I'm sure this is T M I.
My dentist is my friend. She called this afternoon, and looked at my x-rays, because she heard my jaw crack while at lunch the other day. She thinks I have TMJ. I have a hard time opening my jaw... probably from the stress.
Not a good situation if I "were" to initiate anything!
LOLOL
I kill myself.
OK, I'll behave now. Bye
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
AH!!! you are funny girl! but let me add by saying it is NOT fun when your jaw gets stuck!! I've had that happen long ago. and I'm not going to say how!
M, you can call anytime (worst times are 4-6pm), nights are always better for me after the kids are in bed, but whatever time is good for you. if you get text, you can text me, I get unlimited. what time zone are you in? I'm central time.
I bet you still look great even with the grey hairs! I've got my own skunk thing going on, except it's grey streaks on the sides, and I like to pretend they are blonde highlights. my H doesn't believe me.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
