if i happen to go into labor before surgery date, at this current time i will NOT have him contacted. he and i have had no contact whatsoever in a week. he does not call about d2, ask about her, no asking when he can see her.
i do want him there if he shows me with actions that he is respectful and support to me. i have not said that to him and not going to break silence at this time. ive thought about coming out of silence to give him that info but kind of waiting and seeing. that's why advice is so great to get.
the credit card companies are asking me for who i think it is and i'm tore between letting them know it was him and loyalty or not wanting him in trouble. not taht he would ever do that for me. yep old ones have been cancelled.
i would love to talk to the coaches but to strapped for money at this time.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
i just thought for a second. i don't know if i want to even address this at this time if it comes up but if i have some sort of an idea of what my response would be i would be better prepared.
what if he does contact me about seeing d2? am i going to come out of silence and respond, not sure, i may just keep the silence. even if he is her father i need to protect her, might respond if it ever happens of, that's great you want to visit with her i'm all for it. daughter needs stability and routine in her life so when you have a proposed visitation schedule let me take a look at it and we can set something up. please include in there your financial plan of how and when you plan on supporting her. i'm not denying visitation, my daughters best interest are first and it's a boundary........
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
And I suppose that you cant use the cards to pay for a phone coach since he maxed them out! What a creep.
I think that the visitation thing is pretty smart to think about now. The kids, and you for that matter, need stability. So far, he hasnt been that great about respecting your plans of when he is to come around- like when he was supposed to come get his things- so, I think that if there is a time he is supposed to come get her and hes not there within 10 minutes or so, you should load those kiddos up and go for a ride.
Why do you want to protect him? Dont you think that eventually they will find out on their own? He made those choices, you didnt force his hand or trick him into using them. He has basically stolen from you and your kids! While you arent working after the baby, it would be nice if you had had the cards as a safety net in case you need something! Does your fraud protection refund the money that was spent?
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
i feel like if i let them know it was him it will yet another thing he will use against me later on. very true he has stolen from me and these are the things i know about, there are probably some things i still have not seen surface yet. when i confronted him a few weeks ago, he responded said he was sorry and that he would pay for what he spent, funny how he quickly state he'd pay that, not that he has, but refuses to provide any other support money wise for his children.
we were seperated 2 years ago for 9 months and during that time he did not call or see our daughter, she was just born until she was about 9 months so she had no clue who he was, now she does, but doesn't ask about him if she sees his picture.
to ask him to provide me with a schedule time of visits he wouldn't be able to do or keep. not with him being led around by his parents and that is not a good thing for my kidos. and to have him commit verbally to a financial plan will be even more difficult for him to follow since he has done whatever he wanted with his money throughout the relationship. that's why i need to consult an attorney for those very specific legal questions.
i don't know but looking at things now, he does not seem to be a very good person and the problems we have had have improved somewhat but not to where he demonstrated we were partners financially or otherwise.
being divorced with a child before i hated it. the holiday division, child crying she didn't want to leave me and go with her dad, resenting his involvement with other women, i don't want the same for my little babies. he's shown that he is extremely selfish and only thinks about what he wants and is willing to do. he used to tell me i would be better off without him maybe that is true.
i'm just looking at this d2 me pregnant delievering in 9 or so weeks, no support from him, no contact or care/concern for d2 holidays are passing by quickly.
last time i spoke via text with him he asked what would be different about this xmas and i wrote back, nothing because you are going to feel sorry for yourself, and not do a damn thing to change any situation. i wrote you have all the power in the world to change your situation but you are to full of pride how it looks to your parents, and will just do nothing because it is easy. since then we have not spoken/texted in a week.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
very tough morning. i am throughly exhausted and i get angry about it and find fault in h for this situation. i get d2 to niece's house and she's clinging to me, crying as i leave, so on way to work i cry. i'm thinking to my self G#$$darn it, that as#$$$hole couldn't even pick our d up at my house to let her sleep longer then 6 am, not even call in week to see how she's doing, this guy is a freaking supreme loser. the longer it goes on the more of these feelings i anticpate having. i'm having to go into my last part of savings which won't last this month to pay for bills, care for d2, mortgage, utilities, special meds for pregnancy, etc and he's out on the town, at the casino, giving money to his parents. oh yeah i'm pissed.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
oh after a week of silence he calls and leaves a msg.
stating, he knows he's crummy father and husband, wants to know now who is watching daughter, don't call him but text him to tell him if she's okay, trying to make arrangements to see her, then says to call him.
whole msg made me ill. i'm not responding to it, not going to text him not going to call. unless someone has any other advice.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
oh after a week of silence he calls and leaves a msg.
stating, he knows he's crummy father and husband, wants to know now who is watching daughter, don't call him but text him to tell him if she's okay, trying to make arrangements to see her, then says to call him.
whole msg made me ill. i'm not responding to it, not going to text him not going to call. unless someone has any other advice.
Nope, that's about the best way to handle it.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
suddenly now after a week, not going to concilliation, ignoring me and d2, he has a care or concern, but not when his mother was watching d2 with dirty diapers, in pj's all day long, dirty and fat lip.
i feel like it's a test, he said oh well i thought you disconnected your phone and the last time you sent me a bunch of msgs i did not respond to, oh i know we are angry at one another, i asked how you were but really only wanted to know about d2. .
i agree i'm not going to respond. he freaking left us a month ago, has not done anythign for us.
i feel like it's a test to see if i'm going to bite and talk to him.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
