Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Okay I am proud for doing something today. When we were discussing the visitation schedule, I spontaneously asked if he could watch our son on the 19th evening which is a Saturday. I have only asked for one Friday evening before (was a dance class and was back by 8:30)and never Saturday evenings. This is because I was determined to not let him watch him on an evening where he could take him to OW. BUt now that I have allowed him to take him to OW on Saturday mornings, who cares at this point.

I told him if he couldn't do it, then I could find a babysitter from one of our families. He said no, he would do it but is there a chance he could take our baby overnight and bring him back early in the morning? I said no, not yet--not ready for that. But I would be back by 10 probably..just need to be gone 6-10. Then I asked him if I should always check with him first for babysitting if I want to make plans on Friday or Saturday nights because it would be no problem for me to find a family member. He quickly said, no, I can do it!

I also told him that I didn't know for sure yet but will know within a day or 2.

My event is an ugly holiday sweater happy hour get together. I didn't tell him what it was, and he didn't ask.I just said I have something from probably 6 to 10.

Then, today I left to go to the store but ended up not going there. I just talked on the phone for a couple of hours. When I came back, he asked if I needed help unloading the car and I said no I didn't go after all. He said "Oh you just escaped, huh?" and I smiled and said nothing.

I also asked to change the schedule AGAIN on a different day! This is good because I am exerting some independence which up to now, I have been rather passive (on purpose) and just go with the flow. I figured I should change things a little.

Also, as we were working on the calendar, he looked at New Year's Eve and asked me if I had plans (it's a Thursday night so that is when I usually go out). I told him that I hadn't even thought that far ahead. He said "me neither. I don't know what I'm doing yet."

I mention this because he never talks about his plans with OW (out of respect to me) and I thought it was odd that he didn't just reserve that night just in case. I mean he still could, but when we were married or when I had a boyfriend before, it was understood we would be spending New Year's Eve together whether we knew the details or not! So maybe he isn't sure if he will be with her that night! He also could have said "Ok. Do you mind if I take that night off and then come to see S the next day?"


Oh and I am pretty sure that OW is not part of his work group anymore. I asked how work was going and if there were new people there. He said oh yeah..lots. The only other original people left in my work group are K and J.