I'm here Dudess, I just can't think of anything helpful to say. I'm not sure what would work best for you in this sitch. For now I'll defer to the others, just offering my support.
Thanks pearl. That means a lot to me.
How was your holiday?
So this evening H writes me and says that he is beginning to wind things up there. He said that a friend in yet another european country has invited him for Christmas. Then he said:
"I don't know how you stand. You haven't said. Back for Christmas important for you? or back for Christmas annoying for you or what? probably i didn't guess the right word, eh?"
I kind of like that he doesn't know where I stand. No, I haven't said, and notice that he isn't saying where he stands either.
In truth, the only reason it would matter to me to have him in town for Christmas is that if he is here, I wouldn't have to line up a dog sitter to go out of town. (Actually that would be very important to the dogs because they hate being alone.)
robx earlier asked me if any of this was about DBing. I have been thinking about that. For the past 4 months H has been living the high life in situations where he gets a lot of professional recognition, seeing old friends, living in the guest quarters of billionares, and being near 'Her'. I wanted time alone to transition, but I also figured that when he is back in "real life", where he has several boxes of unopened mail, where he has to grocery shop, clean, walk the dog, and does not have the aforementioned perks, that my absence will pack a much greater punch than it would have if I had announced it before.
I have thought that I would like to tell him I am moving when he is on his way back, like out of the city where 'she' is, having said his goodbyes. Oh yeah, I also calculated that him having more time there would give an opportunity for her to shoot him down again or an actual relationship to happen, which would effectively end his fantasies I think.
So I guess the immediate question is how to respond to his email.
