This is what I read in your posts: you are a flip-flopper and she is a MC. Don't doubt for a second that she hasn't seen your type many a times. Realize, she is going to test you on everything? She has given advice on every trick in the book in her sessions and she has used them on you alot already. There are still more up her sleave in the days to come.
I have flip flopped regarding the history my M as I reflect back on it. I haven't flip flopped about my desire to try to reconcile.
Yes, she is a master at testing, and I fail much of the time, because of my desire to reunite my family. I'm trying to do the counterintuitive thing, and it's hard.
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How much strength and confidence and unwillingness to back down do you have this time?
I guess we'll find out. What does back down mean? Not divorce her? If she shows signs of reaching out, do I ignore them? Do I talk with her? Do I calmly reiterate that I just want to get the separation agreement done? At what point do I open this back up to discussion?
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The way I see it, you used the threat of divorce as a strategy to reconcile. Thats a tough one. But all in all its still a bluff. right?
Not quite. A legal separation isn't a divorce, and truthfully, I have to get it done regardless, for my own security. I know the reality is that there is a good chance my M is over. We've been living apart for a year. She is/was involved with another man. I need a legal separation to protect me, regardless of whether we end in divorce. I'm using the fact that SHE sees it as a big step towards divorce though.
Is it a bluff? Good question. I really am about at the end of my rope here. It's been almost two years since our M started to crumble, a year and a half since her A started, and a year that we've been separated. How much longer can I wait? She is in crisis right now. I needed to strike while the iron was hot. If this doesn't work, my M is over. What else can I do?
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Why is she upset? You dumped her you asked for divorce. No one. Not even the cheaters like to get dumped. You are a jerk. You were suppose to bend over and submit to her wishes.
My motto: Never bend over and avoid kneeling at all costs.
That's the whole respect thing for me. I have bent over, and knelt, and it's time for me to get up, and not do it again. This was the only way I could see to do it.
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Bah, whats the worse thing that could happen? she calls your bluff? she calls you for bail because she just got arrested for public indecency with two twenty year old guys in some parking lot in the back seat her car? another OM appears next week? any of that scare you?
Scare me. A little, but I have no other options here. This is my hail mary pass. I've allowed such bad behavior from her, and she's known all along that she has me safely in her pocket if she needs me. I had to break that perception.
