She seemed like she was ready to walk out the door any minute but I realize now that I am fooling myself thinking that she is actually going to leave under her own power. I agree that if she is going to leave I should just let her do all the work and I have been waiting for that for a while.
But she won't because she is cake-eating, and you're letting her do it.
Originally Posted By: tryingtilDorR
She knows that legally I can't force her to leave - but seemed like she would do it herself.
Nope, she's got a good thing going.
Originally Posted By: tryingtilDorR
I have concluded that the only 'something' I can do is file for D. I was trying to put ultimatums in front of it, but maybe I shouldn't and should just move on and get it done.
Setting a boundary is not the same as an ultimatum. Ultimatums are controlling behavior, and are more likely to push the wayward spouse towards the "or else" behavior.
Setting a boundary is about articulating your feelings and your needs. She can choose to ignore the boundary, but then you enforce the consequences.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
