Now more than ever!

[TrentC]

All I can do is assert the boundry and consequences and hope she honors it.

*sigh* No, what you can do is enforce the consequences if she chooses not to respect the boundary.

In terms of additional mixed signals, she said at our last counseling session that she is not interested in any romantic relationship right now.

First...

She also said an A would risk too much in terms of growing her business(which see need me for).

Rule...

In an oblique sense she understands an A is a threat to our marriage. She needs to hear this in a direct sense.

is...

Nevertheless, she has not checked back into our marriage. She has been volunteering explainations about things she has done.

that...

Last night she was running late and offered a plausible explaination. I would hear in an instant if there was any deception in it. I am very perceptive when it comes to word inflection.

CHEATERS LIE. Affairs are not ruled by logic and reason. If she is cheating in you, it's because the guy she's with is doing something for her that you cannot or will not. Period, end of story.

"She also said an A would risk too much in terms of growing her business"? You actually bought that?

How many men and women have thrown away careers and hard-earned reputations for the sake of an affair? How many people have destroyed their families because they had a "right" to be happy?

Anyway, at the appropriate time, I will reiterate the boundry and establish the consequences.

The right time was five minutes ago. Or two days ago, or the last time she presumably lied to your face.

I realize that I'm beating a dead horse, but as long as she is involved emotionally with another man, you will not make any progress in salvaging your relationship.

You can try to reason with us, to explain why your wife is different than the dozens -- nay, hundreds -- of stories that sound exactly like yours, and point out that you are too clever and perceptive to be taken in by your oh-so-honest wife, but let me ask you this:

If you're so in control of and aware of the situation, why are you here with us?