Coming up on One-Year of DB'ing...

[S.T. _I Made It!]

so how long has the phone glued to the hip been? If everything else seems normal, then I generally don't see anything going on. unless it's porn. what are your thoughts on that? I'm totally against it, so James had stuff on his phone and did hide it from me.

If it was a woman, I think you would see other signs, unless it was an out of town thing, and then he would probably be going out of town, not answering phone calls, or taking a while to return them.

Also, I know it was a man who mentioned there is no reason why your husband isn't on top of you physically, but I was an attractive woman, and definitely available, but my H hardly touched me. granted we did ML maybe once a month or so, but that's not really good. Today, it is totally different, and I believe it is partly because I initiate sometimes. I never did before. Plus the fact that I have a much better self esteem now than I did back then.

Mindful, if you are always hiding sadness, then even though you are hiding it, I think that he would sense it, and part of him doesn't want to go there because it's like a choice that he's saying I want the marriage back, and right now, he still doesn't know what he wants.

plus the fact that it's been so long since you guys HAVE ML, that I think that it would be hard for anyone to initiate. you guys have been in this routine now and right now he's kind of in a "safe" spot, and in a way, so are you. no one is taking a risk.

Seeing that everyone sees him as a man with this outward appearance with the lonely man hiding on the inside, I think a good thing to do is help him, lead him to finding joy within himself. Help him to get passionate about things he loves. be creative.

but, these are ideas for when you are better. right now you need to focus on yourself. which by the way, will in turn help lead him to discover happiness, because you are SHOWING him how to do it.