I've not posted a lot lately - busy and not much going on in my sitch right now.
But, I'll take a stab at your post.
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I am not trying to read his mind. I am just trying to understand the thought process behind it.
Don't. Ok to be curious. But, HE probably doesn't even understand it.
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So I replied that I have no expectations whatsoever and don’t know how things will end up.
Perfect response. No pressure by you.
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So what is H’s thought process here? I am stumped. If he is even hesitant to be friends first, we obviously can’t move on to any other R steps.
You don't get to repairing your M until the process plays out. First comes the re-establishment of trust. And that's him trusting you. Not saying he has a reason not to trust you, but this is likely the way he feels. This can take time. Again, no pressure and take it slow.
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H just doesn’t see that yet.
You hit the nail on the head. You can't make him see anything. He may see it, may not. But it's going to take time.
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But is it okay to have hope?
Not only is it ok, I think it is necessary. The challenge is having hope without expectations. This involves walking the parallel paths Coach talks about - accepting the worst case scenario and keeping yourself out there for the possibility of reconciliation. You have to be strong to do this b/c you are opening yourself up to be hurt, angry, rejected. No one said this would be easy. Nothing worth fighting for is.
I hear impatience in your words and tone - and that's ok. You want to move things along. But the "things" you want to move along are out of your control.
Oh, and 99% of what your H is telling you is script. I have read the same things in other sitchs and heard the same things in my own.
