Is it time to go gucci?

[Dudess]

Thanks for stopping by gnosis. This is a tough call for me.

I don't know if he will be happy or what. [about me moving out]

How he will feel is not your concern.

It isn't my concern in terms of taking care of his feelings, but it could have some bearing on my strategy.

Although the dramatic impact of not telling him and letting him find out when he comes in the house has a certain appeal, I don't think that is a good idea.

You know this man better than anyone here. Only you can judge which approach will yield the better results.

From what I've seen, he is a sucker for someone who acts friendly towards him, smiles, and flatters him while they screw him over. It seems hard for him to grasp that someone who is being so 'nice' might have another agenda. I don't know if the same might be true in a separation/divorce situation, So given that . . . how would I frame my moving out?

Am I just dreaming that he might still want to help?

This is a strong possibility if he feels guilty for what he has done to you.

I'm cool with that. Or if he were to decide he wants me back, he may also want to help.

First step is to find out what you are entitled to legally. Go see a D lawyer and let him tell you. If you haven't signed a pre-nup then usually this is a 50/50 split of assets and debts.

I've already checked. Most of his assets he inherited before we married so I am not entitled to any of that. Most of the rest would be at the discretion of the judge and/or I would have to prove. I could potentially get 1/2 of the appreciation on the house (which is approximately the amount I need for dental). I may be awarded some temporary living expenses, possibly all or some of my dental expense, and maybe some of my attorneys fees. Bottom line - I am not in a strong position legally despite his considerable assets. What I could get would cost me money in attorney fees to get with no guarantees of winning. Also, it would take months and months. I need a lot of money for dental pretty quickly.

I want to be gone when he gets back.

I hear you, but this may be a mistake. Keep your apartment. This is about you now. What you want and you need.

Just to clarify, I currently live in the marital home which he owns and I have rented an apartment but I don't live there yet. I want to be moved out of the marital home and into my apartment when he returns. I am still hoping he might suggest that I should move out so I could agree on the condition that he pays my rent for 6 months, or something like that.