Looks like I might soon be LBS...newcomer here

[brownidmom]

Regarding this:


H saying this to me has been on my mind. Last night, after the boys were in bed and H was at the kitchen table with his laptop while I was cleaning up the kitchen, I said, " I have something I want to say to you and I am not looking for a response. What you said to me the other night about buying a house without me- if your intentions are to buy a house because you want to walk away from this marriage, so be it. But if you do not intend to walk away from this marriage, I need you to know that I will have to be included in the process of looking for and buying a house if you want me to leave this house with you. I will not go from owning a home with my husband to selling it and moving into a house with you that is not in my name. I will not ever put myself in the position of having to leave if I am ever asked to do so. I have to look out for myself. So, if you want to stay together as a family, I need to be included in this decision and process."

And then I went back to loading the dishwasher. He didn't respond in any way and I am glad that he didn't. I was feeling very vulnerable after being alone with my thoughts yesterday and a discussion would not have been a good direction for me to head into. I felt better afterwards because I said it like I meant it. Though I was feeling very emotional, it didn't creep its way into my voice. Thus, I was able to go to sleep last night.

The alarm went off this morning as I was dreaming about H holding and kissing me. It was just a dream.

bim

I just re-read this and wanted to rephrase. I said it without emotion so he would know that I meant it. Setting boundaries that I keep is a newer thing for me.

Years ago when he threatened me with getting paternity tests on the boys, I told him that he should expect D papers if he ever did such a thing. If you've read my thread, you know that he did this very thing about 2 1/2 years ago and here I still am...

bim