Still in the tunnel with hubby

[kjensen]

Thanks everyone.

Jack-you sound like a pharmacist! I know its just chemical stuff, but I do believe that there are people out there with whch we can have a profound, eternal connection, that when severed rips at our very core. It may be a bunch of chemicals in us, but is what we are made of...its our reality.

Now H actually doesn't think OW was his soulmate and he sees her for what she is. He said last night it would be a long time before he could get close to anyone(since she burned him so badly).

I'm just an emotional mess today, dealing with this. I am torn between wanting to box H's stuff up and get him out so I won't be in so much pain and just letting things be and having him do all the work(Thats the choice I'm going with right now).

H hasn't talked to the grls. D12 pretty much figured it out and we talked a bit as I drove her to school. I don't think D14 has a clue...I feel so bad having them go through this again.

I'm just not sure what to do now. Do I act "As if"? because if I could pull that off I should book a flight to Hollywood. Do I just go dark while he's still here?-not sure how to do that while living with someone...

I told H I thought it was funny that after he made these decisions he started opening up and talking to me again. He noticed it too...I wonder if he makes these 'leaving' decisions when he's more "normal" and the repercussions of the decision send him back in the tunnel...

I'm thankful for all of your support everyone. I'm trying to keep this in perspective and not dwell on the what if's in the future. So far though, I'm beginning to hate the month of December!