Quick recap.. Last R talk Oct 18th initiated by me. Still not have confirmed EA/PA with OW. Off and on, I was making an effort to do AOS, ask about his day, say goodnight w/kiss and finally stopped about a week ago as I was getting frustrated. I have been moving toward “not givng a sh!t” attitude. And started thinking I might as well assume full PA without digging for more dirt and wondering what my next step shoud be.
Sun - I went out with DD's during the day to a disney show and then H took us all out for dinner. I was kind of dreading dinner but it went really well. It felt like how we should be as a family – doing stuff together. Mon - I did not talk to H at all. Emailed him re: signing DD up for swim lessons. Tues - he emailed me back “you can talk to me about this you know”. I did not respond back. When he came home from work, conversation was very limited. Definitely, the last 2 days I have made myself unavailable and dissociated myself from H. Wed - check my email this morn to find H has sent email subject title “things”:
I know you would never start this off. I have been waiting to see if you would approach me to talk to me. I knew you wouldn't because it's not in your nature. Well seeings how we don't talk we just email each other to converse, I thought I would write a few things
Considerate Appreciated Interested Devotion
You can't imagine the stress I have looking out for this family. I know you haven't been attracted to me since DD1 was born. You don't have to say it I can see it.
I tried for so long to put it back together after DD1 was born, but I could see we were getting more distant. I was getting depressed and complacent. It took sometime to see things for how they are beause I did think it was just me. I was hoping you would make this humongous attempt since we last talked to show that you are serious, but nothing happened. I even would come upstairs to share the same bed. You don't wake me from the couch any more like you use to. So many things have changed and I sleep downstairs to no avail. I guess we need to decide were we go from here? do we sell the house in spring or summer? Do we live seperate from each other? You upstairs me downstairs? And keep the house? I just don't see either of us compromising
**** H just called as I was writing this... wanted to know if I got his message. Me: you mean your email, yes. H: So do you want to talk about this Me: yup H: Maybe we should talk tonight after the kids go to bed Me: okay ****
So what do I do now? What is my best approach? What does this mean? Advice please! I got to be prepared for tonight.
