(((((mindfull))))) OK, your H bugs me a lot, and I don't really like the conclusions I come up with.
He's worried about his image, and what people think of him. So, he doesn't want to have things that he is doing, or has done, out in the open. If he were to leave, or you were to leave, there would be questions. And things would probably come out. So, he's figured out the what he needs to do to keep you "happy", and keeps chugging along. Add to that the guilt (and I think he has reason to feel guilty), and at least one side of him is going to seem to treat you well.
The lack of intimacy is really telling, in my opinion. By all accounts, you are an attractive woman, physically attractive, smart, interesting, funny, etc..... And you are there, and you have made it clear that you are available to him. And yet.... nothing? That just screams at me! I just can't get my head around it. Two years is a long time! (OK, so is five, but the situation is a little different!) I can only see three possibilities, though I am sure there are more. Either he's in, or has been in an A, he's having some type of performance issue, or he's gay! Despite all of our claims to the contrary, I'm not sure guys are complicated enough for there to be anything else!An available, attractive woman, who happens to be our wife, in our bed... and nothing? Just doens't make sense.
So I think the question is (AFTER YOU ARE BETTER!!!!!!!!), what can you do to stir things up a bit, and try to figure out what's up? It doens't need to be anything earth shattering. But before you do anything you have to be prepared to learn what you might learn, and the consequences that might follow.
