I'm glad you're feeling better! I was very worried about you.
Originally Posted By: rockedworld
Also - HE brought forward to ME an article he found online about how essentail NO CONTACT is in a sitch like this and how he agrees with it. That was at his iniative... and why? Because I was not hammering him over the head with it and demanding it. Prior to their break up OW was being extrememly demanding. My strategy was to be the opposite while still having my boundaries firmly in place, which I did. He said that is exactly what has helped him begin to see the difference between the quality of R we have always had and the "illusion" (as he now calls it) with OW.
I would agree with you, that you know your husband best. I only want to suggest you think about something. The difference between:
STRATEGY TACTICS DEMEANOR/TONE
(and there's a reason I have them in that order)
I think there are ways to do the 3rd that your husband will respond to, and even your tactics may be best. I would urge you not to change the STRATEGY, however, of what works best.
See if you can't find ways to GET TO some of the things that we were hammering you about above, while using a softer tone with your husband and modifying some of the tactics somewhat.
I'm all for incremental victories, when necessary. I also just know that buildings can burn down when you let pyromaniacs play with the matches "for just a little bit." No one is doubting whether this is "working for you." We just want to make sure it stays that way . . . for your sake.
