Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Ayayayai!Am PISSED OFF today.

1) Brown nosing can indicate brown nosing for purposes other than R. WH asked me yesterday if he could take our baby for a couple of hours longer on Saturdays. He was taking him 7-11 but now wants to take him until 1. Gee, the 90 minute round trip drive to OWs house is cutting into your time with your son?
I reminded him that at his age, there is a maximum amount of time in the parenting plan for babies to be away from their mothers. He said really? I haven't looked at that plan for awhile. (50% of our divorce paperwork is the plan by the way)

2) It is stupid of me to not move the stuff-I told him today that I am deflating the bed and putting the stuff in the spare room (BTW the stuff is MY things from my classroom)He said "Okay." What the hell was I freaking out for earlier?????

3)WH brought up plans for Christmas. Wants to take son on Christmas Eve during the day for a few hours but won't be here on Christmas Day, not even for the morning. Great, so he and OW will be with our baby, but our baby won't get to have his FIRST Christmas with his own parents. Not that he would notice luckily, being so young.

I WILL NOT BE ARRANGING A CHRISTMAS PARTY FOR THE 3 of us! I did get him a gift but it is just because he is the dad -it will be from our son-, and my family (full of divorcees) has always been nice about getting the ex a present from the kids. Gee I have learned a lot about how to be divorced from my family. So I won't have to start from scratch. Lovely.

4) I honestly don't have an IM for Plan B. I can't go dark for it due to the baby visitation situation. I can join the Y and just leave for the full time WH is here with the baby on his 3 evenings after work, no dinner, just Hi. Going out! Then come back when he has put the boy to bed.ALSO I can tell him that on his day off, when he visits, he can take our boy for 5 hours, but not to spend it at the house anymore.

5) Now that WH has bonded with our son I am not worried that he will ditch him. I am now strong enough to follow through on Plan B. I was not a month ago. I want to do the divorce busting but this can still qualify because it is the 180 of what I have been doing. And I don't regret not doing plan B sooner, because now I have left him an impression of me in a better light than before.

6) I don't know if I need to write him a letter since I will be seeing him still.

7) I was full of sadness last night when he was discussing the schedule with me but tears only welled up, they did not fall, and I kept my voice steady. He was sitting far from me so I don't think he saw my eyes. Usually he says something!