I guess I did not attach specific consequences to them. I simply stated that he should not come to our house when I am not home. (On the day he was there there were other people present.) She agreed. I left it at that. She has said in counseling that she does not have those kinds of feelings about the OM, but she is also very confused. It could re-emerge.
"Don't do it again please."
... and then when she does it again, she says sorry and then wash rinse repeat - those are your current boundaries and you will notice that they aren't much more than words.
What are the consequences? Sometimes saying sorry just isn't enough.
