Can I save my marriage?

[TrentC]

Well I dunno what to do. There has been no R talk. He pretty much moved into the spare room suitcase and all. He brought home every last thing he had at his sister's house. Full on back in our home. But won't man up and talk about it. Its weird.

Give it time; look how far you're come in two months. (You should update your signature, it's several weeks out of date.)

Last night he took S3 to a hockey game, came home and my sister and I had our "t.v" night so we were just hanging out. He said he had to go over to his buddies for a bit and left. Didn't tell me why or how long he'l be or anything. I took this as chance to make a 180. I would normally have drilled him but I just smiled and said "have fun!" S3 has been quite happy daddy is home again and when he came upstairs only to find that daddy left he lost it. I couldn't get him to quit crying so we called H on cell. H said he'd be home soon and goodnight to S3. He was happy then, and went to bed.

I was going to say that calling H was a bad idea, but is was for your son's benefit so I think that was okay.

1am, H comes home and comes to my room. He wakes me up and asks how the boys were tonight. I told him S3 got over it and went to bed good. He made the comment "ya poor guy thought daddy was leaving again." I said "yes he's a smart little boy"

Hm, I woulda been a little more neutral than that. Or not said anything.

Like am I crazy or is this weird. Does he really think he can just move home and then try to move in to the OUR room without talking about it? There is no way he is going to slide on into our bedroom again without a word.

Good. It might not be a bad idea to set that boundary finally:

"I'm glad to have you home, but I don't want to make the situation more confusing for us, and especially the kids, right now. So until you've decided that you want to work on things, I would prefer that you stay out of my bedroom at night."

Now that he's home, does he just want to be friends? And stay here cause he feels inconvenienced at his sister's? Or is it his way of coming home just to stubborn and too full of pride to talk about it? How long do I let this go on? And how long does he just come and go as he pleases without having to tell me a thing?

Give it a little time -- the holidays are stressful enough as it is. (Of course, if he forces the issue in some way or another, take care of it then.)

SO CONFUSED!!!!

Just keep in mind where you were a month ago, and where you are now. Be patient, be understanding, and who knows where you will be in a month from now...