It is always ok to have hope but don't let it hold you back...I have hope my H will come to his senses one day but he has done nothing in the last 9 months (since she entered the picture) but run and I have wasted so much time "hoping" and it hasn't gotten me anywhere...
I had to really take a few days from everything (including here) to sit back and truly look within to see what I was actually doing with the hand that has been given to me...
I am so tired of the games H wants to play and the complete darkness I have encased myself in...
I finally realized that no matter what, at this time I couldn't do anything right where he is concerned - No matter of any changes I have projected, it just wasn't registering in his pea brain right now and I am ok with that...
I decided I was done twisting and turning myself inside and out - I have hope however it is no longer all I have...
No matter what happens on this journey, I am grateful I got the chance to take it because I got a chance to look within myself and make changes that benefit me and my boys in the long run - If he doesn't join us on the road later on, that is his loss and I will still be able to hold my head high and know in my heart, I did the very best I could to teach my sons how you treat people regardless of how you are being treated.
Don't allow his spew to confuse you - It is all some form of script that we have heard before - Don't worry about being "friends" right now - Worry about you and your children and let your H flounder about in his own world.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
