I am open to suggestionsbut I feel I am on the correct path.
Wonderful,
When I posted to you about 15 minutes ago, I hadn't read your entire thread. In fact, I hadn't read it since posting to you yesterday. In response to the first half of your quote above, and now that I've read all 4 pages of your thread, I say respectfully:
"No, you're not."
, and in response to the second half of it, I'd say that your "feelings" (instincts) have gotten you to where you are today: your wife is having an affair, and lying to you about it, and is actively in pursuit of additional financial support from you.
You're not open to suggestions at all. You've been dismissive of all of the advice you've been given so far, and are making excuses for your wife, but mostly for your own passive behavior in the face of this predator. And that's exactly what the OM is -- a predator.
In the past five years, I have studied literally hundreds -- probably thousands -- of affairs. I have deep knowledge with more than a dozen. I have yet to see a man win back his wife by doing the Mr. Nice Guy routine.
Hope4Us is a rare bird -- he had the strength, character, patience and intestinal fortitude to stand for his marriage during his wife's continued contact with OM, and lack of remorse, for two years. Most people -- especially men -- cannot do that, in my experience. It takes an INORDINATELY strong and detached personae, and even then it MUST be accompanied by strong -- enforced -- boundaries.
