The problem is this: Right now, my wife is checked out of our R. It does no good to come to her and ask her to work on restoring trust the R when she is not in the R. In fact, it does harm because it looks like pursuing and attempting to talk R both of which are DB no, nos. It also would appear to be controlling, a major turn off to anyone. I can't make her work on the R. I honestly ask, what else can I do under these circumstances? My solution has been to detatch from the the R problems and focus attention on myself. I am open to suggestions but I feel I am on the correct path.
You have your mind made up. Open your mind.
Boundaries are about behavior. So it is not controlling, she has a choice in how she behaves. You are not going to state a demand, you are going to talk to her about what you as her husband have decided about how his wife will treat him. You are not going pursue, make demands, have a R talk or anything else you are worred about. Sound reasonable? Want to listen to what works? It will challenge your thinking.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
