Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

Don't ask the question. Keep that one back. It is yours to use when she decides to come back. Don't throw it away. If she emails ignore. Phone call... Short and sweet and end it. Remember the words " I will think about that. Gotta run. "

She should be going through IM anyway so ignoring is fine. I am actually looking forward to next contact.

I got that look as well when I was out with a friend and bumped into her friends. It was interesting to say the least.

But I don't quite get it. If she is having an A and they all know about it (which I am actually starting to doubt to be honest) then why is me walking in with a woman a problem?!?!?

As W's friends think OM was a lodger, MAYBE work think the same. I was led to believe they all knew he was OM.

Now you know what. You can go back in there again with your friend. Not this week but maybe in 2 weeks. Grab another bottle of wine.

I intend to!

You do not have to say anything. Except smile and look into her eyes when she talks.

3rd party will take care of the rest.

Wondering how far to take it. Do I slap bum's, put my arm around her or just keep it as friends. My actual gut says just keep doing the same thing and let W's imagination do the rest.

Games can be fun.

That's what I thought! At least it will put a smile on my face if nothing else.

I am going out with that girl on Friday. Going to post some new pictures on facebook of her and I together and have it open to friends of friends can see it. So WAS will be able to see pictures of me out with the same woman 2 months later.

I have just made my pictures on FB public. Only me and D on there so far but I will be adding more .... soon!

[chatterbug]

You do not have to take it any futher. Remember she is your friend not "JUST a friend"

I would say that right now you need your friends. Not another relationship. Get your head screwed on straight and get yourself to a point where your happiness comes from within. If something develops out of that. Then let it if its what you choose. Just becareful around your daughter. I am sure she is confused enough as it is.

May as well use the book to your advantage. Show proof of 180's and GAL.

Make sure that friends of friends can see pictures

[newmama]

Maybe people were looking at you because they feel bad for you since they know your WW is making the worst mistake being with the loser OM!

[P17]

You do not have to take it any futher. Remember she is your friend not "JUST a friend"

I wouldn't take it anywhere either to play the game or otherwise.

I would say that right now you need your friends. Not another relationship. Get your head screwed on straight and get yourself to a point where your happiness comes from within. If something develops out of that. Then let it if its what you choose. Just becareful around your daughter. I am sure she is confused enough as it is.

I've miscommunicated. There is no way I would get involved with my friend. She is a friend and that's all it will ever be. Even if something were there I wouldn't do it at this time as I'm not in the right place for it.

My daughter didn't meet my W until after a year of us dating. I'm very careful who I introduce her to.

May as well use the book to your advantage. Show proof of 180's and GAL.
Make sure that friends of friends can see pictures

I made the pictures public as we have no friends of friends.

[P17]

Maybe people were looking at you because they feel bad for you since they know your WW is making the worst mistake being with the loser OM!

No it was different this time. It was strange. I try not to overanalyse but I felt very uncomfortable, watched and being judged. It was very suffocating and I was glad to be out of there. I hadn't felt that before.

[P17]

I was in the shop again today and I got the same uncomfortable feeling. Something is going on. Something has been said. My gut tells me it's not good.

Being looked at like some kind of monster. I am getting a little freaked out about it. Time me for to avoid the shop during the day I think.

Maybe I'm just paranoid but I just don't think so.

[P17]

Guys, third post in as many hours. Ignore the above posts. I'm getting too attached to W and other things today and I'm getting annoyed. I'm looking for reasons to go into the shop that I shouldn't be. I am not strictly breaking the NC but it is still for the same reasons.

Last few days have been hard for me with the loss of my mum and the loss of my W and my D's step-mum all within a small timeframe. I feel like I'm reaching out for something to cling onto and unfortunately it's W. While I haven't contacted her, being near her gives me the same feeling.

I know it's wrong but it's how I feel just now. I am starting to feel the way I did at the beginning. Missing her in bed. Missing her around to talk to. Yada yada yada. The difference now is I have the strength to control my emotions.

I was back in the shop again today (4 times in 2 days - that's an end to it) with my D as she had to get something out of there. W wasn't there, probably on a break, but D noticed people looking at us too. She said the security guard in the shop was staring at us with her mouth open. Not sure what that means but something is wrong.

Spoke to somebody I know who works there and asked if there were any rumours as I was being stared at like a monster and she said not that she knew. I actually don't believe her but hey, what can I do.

I am feeling very angry and frustrated just now. I want to desperately contact W to find out what is going on but I won't. Maybe that's what has been done - some elaborate rumour to get me to contact her and break NC. Won't work, I promise you it won't but I do feel like it. As I said above, the difference now is that I can control my emotions and not allow them to dictate my actions. At least it's progress.

[newmama]

Rollercoaster...you have been through a lot in the last week to say the least...

stay away from the shop -good job admitting your weakness, I have a lot to admit in my thread today-

also good for you for venting here and not contacting W!

Keep going, it will get easier the less you see W. I wish I could find a way to not see my H!!

[chatterbug]

This is normal when going dark. You are going to have these days where you want to contact or see the wife. Its natual. I am at week 12 now. And I get the feelings still. She still contacts me every once in awhile. I think as long as the affair is going on the contact will be every few weeks to see if they can drag you back or make sure your not moving on. From what I have read. When the affair breaks or they think you have moved on they will really try to break your resolve. The ones who have been there will need to speak up on that.

[P17]

Rollercoaster...you have been through a lot in the last week to say the least...

Thanks for the support newmama. I know it will get easier and easier, but I also know it will get harder before the end.

This is normal when going dark. You are going to have these days where you want to contact or see the wife. Its natual. I am at week 12 now. And I get the feelings still. She still contacts me every once in awhile.

Is this trivial stuff or 'business'?

I think as long as the affair is going on the contact will be every few weeks to see if they can drag you back or make sure your not moving on.

Even after everything I've read in here I am still confused by this! Why, if they have 'moved on' and found 'true love' etc., do they still do this sh*t? Why do they care?!?!

From what I have read. When the affair breaks or they think you have moved on they will really try to break your resolve. The ones who have been there will need to speak up on that.

Any vet's confirm this? PDT / Sandi? Just want to make sure this is what I need to expect? Like above, wondering why they are afraid of us moving on? If they have moved on, why do they care? I probably know this stuff, but it's been a rough day.