Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

I just had to send exh a text that I have been dreading sending. He hasn't paid his child support for November. I waited and was patient hoping he didn't blow it off. Guess he did. The other day he told me he had to pay his other daughters cel phone bills and orthodontics bill. If he can do that he can pay child support for this child.

My text said "Hi. When can you get me the cs for November? Thanks."

I am sure the backlash will happen. Makes me sick to my stomach.

[ClingingToHope]

That doesn't happen in Illinois. The state automatically grabs it from the paycheck.

[volleydog]

I thought you were going to put in the paperwork to have it done automatically...what happened?

[Startingover2]

I thought you were going to put in the paperwork to have it done automatically...what happened?

I dropped the ball. I did make the call to CSS but have to go to thier office to pick up paperwork which is an hour away. No excuse though..

[volleydog]

Sorry but you know what you have to do...He has too many excuses plus he NEEDS to hit bottom and this might help.

[Startingover2]

Sorry but you know what you have to do...He has too many excuses plus he NEEDS to hit bottom and this might help.

Your right and I thank you for keeping me accountable.

He did send a text back saying he was doing the best he can and was struggling. Yeah with an extra $600 a month going out for your other kids on top of their support he gives to their mom..I understand why hes broke. But he still has an obligation to this child.

He wondered why the change in my attitude. This niceness was probably all a game so he can soften me up so I wouldn't bug him about support.

[Startingover2]

Seems to be back on the family thing. Doesn't seem really happy about life, but is more interested in life here with us and what we are doing.

Hes blowing married girl off again. Shes sending him tons of fb emails and he is ignoring.

For all i know, there is yet another woman waiting in the wings too.

So, baby and I went shopping all afternoon yesterday. I got all of her xmas gifts and a few for my other kids. Actually got alot done and baby was really good. We saw Santa and she didn't even cry. She sat there on his lap ok, but was more interested in his beard and her candy cane so getting a good picture with her smiling was not happening. It was really fun though.

After shopping we headed up north a bit further for my sons wrestling match. Exh had texted during shopping and I told him what we were doing then. Later he texted asking if we were home. I said no at wrestling. He acted like we never discussed it. We talked about it over the weekend. So either he forgot or he was drinking.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

the question you said about, what if he gets bored and turns to self gratification... well, that's why I would never go back unless he shows you for a year that he is sober, responsible, no girlfriend, and he is a part of your life as a family member, but on the side, and one without a physical R with you. that's just MHO.

and the whole back and forth thing. I really think he doesn't want to be with her, but of course he's using her because he doesn't want to let go of that rope and be alone.

your doing good though, focus on other stuff, not him. glad to hear about the santa pics!

[volleydog]

Bravo S.T. great post, spot on.

[Startingover2]

Thanks....

Its really hard and a fine line to walk. He was just here for the past few hours and its FUN! We always laughed and had a good time together. I always wonder if he has that same kind of fun with married girl friend or OW when he was with her.

He wants to help us do our tree..he wants to come down and put babys santa gift together at some point. It is so hard to balance the emotions. He obviously can do it quite well. I also wonder if its just the holiday blues and after xmas is over if he will go back to normal.