Hope and heartache

[awest1217]

You really need to stop snooping. I am the queen of snooping. I can get on any of H's accounts, check the phone records, text messages, facebook...etc. It does not help. You don't know everything that is being said so you just start assuming and putting your own spin on things. I do that a lot. I can't help myself either and over time it is getting easier and easier. I don't want to defend myself because I know I need to stop, but H has been having other interests for years, lies and lies about them, until I can point to the proof and then he still denies it so I am always trying to find out the truth because he will never tell me.

Snooping does nothing, but build resentment. Something else to think about aren't you doing the same thing she is? You have a possible interest. You may not be flirting a ton, but you said you go places where people W knows will see you with this group and other interest is there. If you are going to snoop and get mad about W, then you also need to keep yourself in check.

Snooping is just going to hurt your and your M more. Work on you. Be the best you, you can be. Like TT said. Now is the time to work on the things you would like to change about yourself. Do you want to become a snooper? I know it is hard, and I am taking things one step at a time. I find it small victories for me that I have not gone over to the house H is at to see if OW's car is there in the morning. It kills me because I know that would let me know if she is there or not, but ultimately it will just hurt me so I am staying out of it.

Advice from someone who is there. It is hard to stop and is extremely addicting so stop while it is still early!