First time poster feeling a bit lost

[MT21]

Thanks Cutter,

Its not that I dont know what to do

But,

1. I am nervous that it is flop and we really dont get on, then the reality really will come crashing in. (I know it should be here already, and is sinking in)

2. I am not sure that I am in the best place right now to really be (a, the friend she needs, (b, The emotional detached strong person I need to be.

The christmas party shes getting ready for next week seems to be her only goal right now.(another $200 on shoes yesterday) I am expecting the EA/PA bomb shortly after.

Shes not doing anything in the house right now, No washing, no dishes, cleaning.. nothing (and if she does lift a finger its the bare minimum)
I am doing everything painting, cooking + all above and taking Kids to school etc. She says she needs a break to a SPA or something to clear her head she feels very tired. She looks tired too.( I am concerned for her but Good, maybe shes feeling the pain now)

The FIL talked in length with me last night, he is very upset and MIL as well. He is planning a talk with her. Lay down the law so to speak. I dont think its helpful, she says it upsets her and its her life not theirs.

Its my life as well, I dont want to spend the rest of my life with someone that doesnt love me, so even if a miracle did occur and she returns in some sort of fashion, if these deep rooted issues arent resolved then I am really not interested.
(Theres only so many times you can kick the dog)

But as I said the FIL/MIL help enormously with the Kids, I hope she count on the same support going forward. (I doubt if they will ever forgive her for what shes doing to the kids. She is definitely in self mode, although she doesnt see it.)

Geez

MT