Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Naej - yes he said himself, he wants us tp have a normal R, so its ok to have conflict, we had some Friday night too! I really really dont think he would up and leave again and he has zero contact with Helen since they split. How lucky am I? Seriously, this stuff is rare, so it freaks me out at times, but I do count my blessings. My sister is staying with us, she noticed the change in him - that he is more firm, doesnt 'people please' so much now and although she thinks the pendelum is slightly the other way right now, its good because she felt he was too repressed before and eager to please and that his evident awareness of all this means the pendulum WILL settle down in time. I agree and am happy with that.

Hey Andabelle, well remembered! Sorry, I meant his 'Cornwall BMF', a guy BF loves, but doesnt see often. Thank goodness he didnt get together with Helen afterall! Helen did make a play for Cher's brother strangely, after her and bf split up. Cornwall IS small place though ! But yes, she is 100%, history.

hey Rob.. well I was always committed to following MY dreams and doing my own thing even to the extent of not paying attention to how my choices impacted on bf, so not doing that so much right now is a bit of 180 for me. For example, I was due to start college in September for a new direction and I declined the place, for the sake of this new R. Financially it would have put a strain on us and I would have been very busy and I just felt it wasnt worth it. I've strived enough and I want to put time into my R now. Its a tricky one as this cant continue, so at some point I need to resume my own path, but be mindful that we are a partnership. So far, I'm still in 'reconciling' mode, but then we were apart 18 months.

I'm grateful for DB guidance these 2 years, because 'regular' counsellors just dont get it. They tell you to respect yourself, get rid, put up boundaries etc.. but noone would ever reconcile if you followed that advice !