I am really down right now. A part of me wants to just call it quits. Yesterday she and I went to go talk to the priest for our monthly marriage talks that we are required to have in order to get married in the Catholic church (ironically, I'm not catholic but she wants to have a catholic wedding). Anyway, the priest said something very simple yet so profound - "if you don't have love you don't have a marriage."
I don't know if there really is love in our relationship right now. I guess you can say I have a "sex starved marriage." It is not so much about the sex and affection as it is about not feeling like she really cares and wants to me to be happy. I want and try to make conversation with her about her day, but it seems like I just get blown off. Yet, she is very excited about the wedding and has gotten her whole family/friends involved. But when it comes to difficult conversations about finance, our relationship, how we are going to raise our daughter, etc - she either gets mad or avoids the issue. It is also frustrating to feel like she just doesn't care about what's going on in my life - like she doesn't make an effort to show me she loves me.
I am just so confused. I love my wife so much and I want nothing more than to be a family again. I love being with my daughter and finally being able to wake up with her and play with her any time I want. Yet, I don't want to settle. I want to have a fulfilling and loving relationship - one where both parties make the effort.
Well, I just had to get that off my chest. Will write later. Faithful H, Lodo, Forward and every one else that has helped in the past - hope all is well.
