It's not that surprising to think of exes getting back together just long enough to have sex, when you think about it. At some point, they were attracted to each other. Then, something in their situation separated them until they couldn't stand to be married anymore.
Logically it makes sense. But very hard for me to picture based on my personal experiences. For example, if I try to fantasize about reaching over to that perfect wife (a future wife, not my current one) in bed and slowly stroking her back, the fantasy woman automatically says, "What are you doing?", or "Not tonight", or "I'm tired." It's hard to picture anything else.
Maybe that's partly why I'm not overly enthusiastic about the thought of divorcing and finding a new partner. I get the sinking feeling that after the initial burst of sexual interest, it's going to end up the same way. Low libido is just about the most common sexual complaint among women, so it's certainly a very real possibility in another relationship all over again.
I have a impression (which is probably a distorted perception) that women's sexual passion, even if strong at a given moment, is in the long run fleeting, fragile, situational, flash-in-the-pan, and can disappear at any moment. Do one thing wrong, or say one thing wrong, and poof it's gone. If a woman is the least bit tired, or if anything went wrong that day, even an HD woman is totally sexless. Probably wrong, but that's my unshakeable impression.
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But my last question still stands--what do you want? What is your goal?
Playfulness, sex, lots of talk, sex, sense of humor, sex, long walks on the beach, sex, positive spirit, sex, going out to restaurants, sex, athletic activities together, sex, romantic vacations, sex, watching movies together, sex, etc. I have only half of these things with my wife, and I'm sure you can guess exactly which ones.
You can talk all you want to about Schnarch's level 6, but I'm not quite sure how sustainable that is when a woman's sexual desire can so easily disappear, dropping you right back to level 0. I mean, you can't stay at level 6 without at least a reasonably strong sex drive on the part of both partners, no?
