You have to understand how sex might appear to your wife after a long and slow reduction of sex drive. What if your wife told you she very much needed you to wriggle in a warm mud bath several times a week, or it would be a sign you didn't love her. After a while you find it annoying. And then ridiculous. And you don't understand why, if you've already done it that week, she needs you to do it again, only a day later! Didn't the last time prove to her that you did it because you loved her. And what if she was disappointed that you didn't like having a mud bath, and did it only to please her?
And after a while, you might become highly annoyed and angry if your wife wanted you to go to therapy and take drugs, and be examined both physically and psychologically, to find out why you aren't enthusiastic about mud baths. It reminds me of how I felt when my mother forced me to take piano lessons in grade school. There was something wrong with me because I didn't want to, and I resented that attitude at the time.
There is not necessarily anything wrong with not wanting sex. There are plenty of couples where both spouses want not sex, and they're happy. You don't see them in therapy.
The problem is that you're not compatible at this point. Now, that's NOT a solution to your problem, but it is an important PERSPECTIVE that will let you be kinder to your wife.
